I've been talking with Diane Ehrensaft (author of "Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Suggogates") about Birth Others, Genetic Others, ages and stages of disclosure (see post from our NYC Gathering Womens Dinner in January with Diane where we discussed ages and stages of disclosure).
Diane coined the term "birth other"--which includes both donors and surrogates/gestational carriers (who are not genetically related) . My term for egg donors is "genetic others" since they didnt do the birthing.
The "young scientists" are the young school age kids who are interested in how things work rather than the complicated psychological implications. That comes later.
Diane strongly recommends having someone talk to classrooms and train teachers so that the children from assisted reproductive families do not feel like outliers (MY BIGGEST ISSUE AROUND THIS) and the issues apply to all children and the different ways of building families.
All parenthood involves loss-loss of nonparenthood life, loss of sleep, loss of fantasies as they are are replaced by the real child.
For those parents who have dealt with fertility problems, there may be the loss of having a genetically related child. For those parents missing a parent to have a baby with, there may be a feeling of a missing parent, who a donor cannot be. As long as people know it comes with the territory, they don't have to sweep the feelings under the rug.
What Diane wants parents to know is
1) that they will creatively draw their own family map and then navigate within it; there is no one boiler plate; 2) dishonesty never pays; 3) authenticity does; 4) at the same time, there can be tiers of disclosure and layers of privacy; 5) children are incredibly adaptable organisms, and all children have something to deal with; a birth history that involved assisted reproductive technology is one of those things to deal with, and can be done with pride and good feeling, as long as parents leave room for the full gamut of their children's feelings (and their own); 6) at the time, parents should carve out separate space to work through their own raw feelings, if they surface, so that what reaches the child are metabolized and empathic responses, rather than torn or conflicted ones.
Showing posts with label Egg Donor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Egg Donor. Show all posts
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Link To Radio Show October 7, 2010
Thanks again to Reproductive and Family Lawyer Theresa Erickson of Conceptual Options and Ericksonlaw.com, Marna Gatlin of PVED.org and Theresa's daughter Megan Erickson, for todays Radio Show on Voice America. I was honored to be part of this innovative and educational series happening on Voice America.
We are very fortunate to have professionals like Theresa and Marna (and Theresa's other guest experts) in the field of Third Party Family Building.
The show Marna and I were on together was on the topic of Disclosure. Marna shares with us her insights on how she came up with new terminology, her approach with her own family, and all the services provided and being developed at PVED.org.
Megan Erickson spoke about her experience having a Mom who has been an egg donor and her feelings about having genetic others in her own life growing up and now as the young woman Theresa can be so proud of.
http://www.voiceamerica.com/voiceamerica/vshow.aspx?sid=1767
We are very fortunate to have professionals like Theresa and Marna (and Theresa's other guest experts) in the field of Third Party Family Building.
The show Marna and I were on together was on the topic of Disclosure. Marna shares with us her insights on how she came up with new terminology, her approach with her own family, and all the services provided and being developed at PVED.org.
Megan Erickson spoke about her experience having a Mom who has been an egg donor and her feelings about having genetic others in her own life growing up and now as the young woman Theresa can be so proud of.
http://www.voiceamerica.com/voiceamerica/vshow.aspx?sid=1767
Saturday, October 2, 2010
October 7 Radio Show http://www.ericksonlaw.net/surrogacy-law-radio
The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program- Thursday at 11am PDT
October 7, Theresa Erickson will interview her guests (Sara, Marna and Megan) about disclosure for both donor-conceived children and (non-donor conceived) children of egg donors
Prospective parents who utilize third party reproductive technologies like egg donation must answer many questions as they move through the decision-making process. How should they choose an egg donor? Should the donation be known or anonymous? If, when and how should they disclose information to their child and others? Additionally, egg donors need to consider whom they will tell about their donation, especially their current or future children.
In the second part of a two-part series on donor disclosure, Theresa Erickson will discuss these and other questions on The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF and Third Party Reproduction in an episode entitled “The Two Sides of Donor Disclosure,” that will air on Thursday, October 7 at 11AM PST/2PM EST on Voice America.
Surrogacy lawyer, author and radio host Theresa Erickson will be interviewing Marna Gatlin, founder and CEO of Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED); Sara Axel, founder of the NYC Gathering and a parent of twin six-year-old girls conceived through egg donation; and Megan Erickson, law student and Theresa Erickson’s daughter.
“Disclosure often is the elephant in the room,“ says attorney Erickson. “All parties know it is important, but also realize it is one of the hardest issues to address. Intended parents need to wrestle with determining whom should they tell, what information their children need to know and when they should learn it. Then there is the other side of the coin of how the egg donor should handle disclosure. As a former egg donor, I have had this conversation with my children, one of whom will relay her feelings about this.”
http://www.ericksonlaw.net/surrogacy-law-radio
October 7, Theresa Erickson will interview her guests (Sara, Marna and Megan) about disclosure for both donor-conceived children and (non-donor conceived) children of egg donors
Prospective parents who utilize third party reproductive technologies like egg donation must answer many questions as they move through the decision-making process. How should they choose an egg donor? Should the donation be known or anonymous? If, when and how should they disclose information to their child and others? Additionally, egg donors need to consider whom they will tell about their donation, especially their current or future children.
In the second part of a two-part series on donor disclosure, Theresa Erickson will discuss these and other questions on The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF and Third Party Reproduction in an episode entitled “The Two Sides of Donor Disclosure,” that will air on Thursday, October 7 at 11AM PST/2PM EST on Voice America.
Surrogacy lawyer, author and radio host Theresa Erickson will be interviewing Marna Gatlin, founder and CEO of Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED); Sara Axel, founder of the NYC Gathering and a parent of twin six-year-old girls conceived through egg donation; and Megan Erickson, law student and Theresa Erickson’s daughter.
“Disclosure often is the elephant in the room,“ says attorney Erickson. “All parties know it is important, but also realize it is one of the hardest issues to address. Intended parents need to wrestle with determining whom should they tell, what information their children need to know and when they should learn it. Then there is the other side of the coin of how the egg donor should handle disclosure. As a former egg donor, I have had this conversation with my children, one of whom will relay her feelings about this.”
http://www.ericksonlaw.net/surrogacy-law-radio
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)